


details

by placeless



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Adventure, M/M, Sad, Travel, Wanderlust, this is emo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-07-19 10:19:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7357354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/placeless/pseuds/placeless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>brendon seeks adventure, ryan seeks tranquility.</p>
            </blockquote>





	details

**Author's Note:**

> what the actual shit is this i haven't written in like three months and this pile of shit is what i make im,,,

ryan loves the little things. freckles, words, inside jokes — he will fall in love with those, instead of the person. brendon has a hurricane brewing inside of him. when ryan writes, he writes about this, not brendon as a whole.

brendon seeks adventure, ryan seeks tranquility. brendon sits on his bed, eight years old and full of energy, and tells ryan that he wants to go to outer space. ryan blinks and says that earth is just fine.

brendon goes to hawaii the summer of his thirteenth year and comes back talking about the thrills in this world that he would like to live. it’s like the lava from a volcano there seeped into his veins, ignited his blood. he’s a ball of fire, constantly growing, constantly sparking with energy. ryan sits next to him and wonders if the world is as silent in brendon’s head as it is in his.

they’re sixteen years old and are the closest to love that they both know. brendon drags ryan around the city to try to make him feel the high of adrenaline that he’s constantly running off of. ryan smiles when brendon asks if he had fun, and says yes, but knows in his heart that the solitude of his room is the closest he’ll ever get to fun.

brendon asks ryan to prom, and he agrees, but on that night, when brendon picks him up, they don’t go to the school — instead, they go to a cliff. they sit on the edge and stare at the stars, and brendon says that he wants to be a bird. ryan asks why, and he says that birds are free, birds can go wherever they please. ryan imagines that inside brendon, there’s no lungs, no heart — there’s only a cage, with a sparrow inside just trying to break free.

ryan knows that brendon will achieve something. he’ll explore the world and the universe like his heart so desires, and ryan will sit at his desk and write about his adventures. most people wouldn’t be content with this, but it makes ryan feel whole. ryan doesn’t matter, but brendon does — he was made solely for the purpose of being here to share his story.

so, when they’re eighteen, fresh out of school, it’s no wonder that brendon comes to his house at midnight, soaking wet from the pouring rain. he’s smiling, a backpack swung around his shoulder, and ryan asks him why he’s there.

“i’m going to make my dent in this world,” brendon says, and presses his lips to ryan’s. ryan watches as he disappears into the rain, and knows that this is the last he’ll ever see of him. brendon isn’t going to get anywhere staying in this city; he’s made for better things.

a few weeks later, a post card shows up in the mail from the caribbean. _wish you were here,_ it says.

ryan heads into his room and grabs his computer, opening up a fresh document. this is what he’s here for.


End file.
